Friday, November 1, 2013

The story of how we transitioned to preteens

I remember when my sister first heard 'She Came Home For Christmas' and was so obsessed with the song she'd force me to watch MTV all day just to wait for the videoclip to show up again. You know... back when veejays would play videoclips by request. We didn't know the song name, didn't know Mew. All we knew were the words to a strange video.

And that's the story of how we transitioned to preteens. After that we learned about lesbianism from t.A.T.u., learned that 'fuck' was a swear word, learned how to illegally download music from Kazaa and Limewire... and a lot of other pointless crap that ruined our innocent years.

Yep. Good times.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Easy A

My life feels a little bit like a movie these days. Like these things don't happen in real life. Except it did.

And right now I'm learning how to be as strong as how the main characters usually are and just man up. Even though I'm manning up and facing consequences of actions that aren't even my own. I'm the one who lives with the shame.

Nobody sees me crying in my bathroom. All anyone sees is the red A embroidered on all of my wardrobe.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Soy Sauce

If someone asked me if I had a blast during my first year in medical school, I'd say everything good happened...

except that I had no one to really share it with.

Tonight after winning best short film, best film directing, best film editing, and best cinematography... I'm actually very upset that I wasn't the one to take the prize. It's not that I'm so attention hungry and I want everyone to know my name. But I feel that I deserved it and whoever went to claim that prize should have let me.

And now instead of eating out and celebrating, the girls decided to segregate me once more.

And I go back to my usual routine: eating alone, sitting alone, studying alone, and being left out of almost every single occasion.

I guess I never truly made friends here in medical school. So the answer is no, I didn't have a blast. I spent my first year alone wishing someone would see value in me as a person and the friend that I am.

But that one person who sees me, and only me, from the sea of Indonesian faces... I wish you were a girl. Maybe people would stop giving us shit if you were my best friend instead of my boyfriend.